Category Archives: Life

Whose War?

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Maybe it was because I avoided Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but somehow, I managed to forget about this whole “War on Christmas” thing that seems to be raising people’s blood pressure. Today, I read three blog posts on the topic. Sean Palmer started it all. Then my good friend, Matt Nightingale, added his perspective to the Worship Connect blog on the Evangelical Covenant Church website. Finally, someone referenced a blog written by Jason Sanders, which – though it was written back in October – does a great job of summing up what Christians ought to be doing instead of griping about clerks saying “Happy Holidays” as they hand over the credit card receipt.

I don’t think Jesus ever gave two hoots about being politically correct. Jesus cared about the poor, the sick, the hungry, the oppressed, the outcast, the orphans, and the widows. Jesus cared about giving hope to those whose hope had run out. If I really want to follow Jesus, as I say I do, shouldn’t I be caring about them, too? This is the real war, as Sean Palmer notes: the one that rages inside me every time I ignore someone I should be loving in Jesus’ Name.

The first week of Advent is almost over. We are nearly one quarter of the way into the waiting. Take a few minutes – you have time for this, so don’t give me any excuses – and go read those other three blogs. Comment on them if you want to.

Then come back here and tell me how your Advent is coming along. Let me know how your waiting is going. What ugly truths and joyous realizations are coming to your attention during this expectant season? How are you dealing with your own War on Christmas?

I really want to know.

Anticipating the Anticipation

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I am not, by nature, a patient person. That is probably an understatement. When I was delivering my second son, the obstetrician asked at one point, “Are you even having a contraction, or are you just pushing?” I was too busy pushing to answer. Delaying gratification is not one of my strengths. So here we are, two days before Advent begins, and the anticipation is killing me.
Yet, I have been invited to wait. Not forced to wait, but invited to wait. I have no idea what this means.

I have been invited to wait. For me, waiting breeds frustration and anxiety.
I have been invited to wait. But I don’t really know what I’m waiting for.
Yet, I have been invited to wait.

Waiting requires a lot of trust in the One for whom I wait. My impatience is a sure sign that I’m really not trusting God to show up, to make himself known to me.
Yet, I have been invited to wait.

Will you wait with me? How is God asking you to meet him this Advent season?

 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him (Psalm 37:7)

 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14)

 But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. (Psalm 38:15)

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope (Psalm 130:5)

 

 

 

And now, a word from our sponsors…

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Maybe you have to be a Baby Boomer for that phrase to mean anything, but I remember television announcers from the late 1950s and early ’60s introducing commercials as if they were part of the program. There was a clear connection between what we were watching and the companies that paid for it with their advertising dollars. Today, we are so overwhelmed with advertising that it has taken on a life of its own, and “a word from our sponsors” has become product placement within the program itself.

I am boycotting Cyber Monday today, just as I dodged Black Friday a few days ago. I’m cleaning house instead, preparing for Advent with a good dose of dusting and vacuuming. I know I will buy Christmas gifts for my family sometime in the next few weeks, but it will not be according to some advertising executive’s schedule. Meanwhile, there is plenty to do to ready my heart for Christ, to make the way straight and the crooked plain in preparation for the day of the Lord’s coming.

Two women whose blogs I follow, and whose ideas inspire me, are Mary Hunt, the Everyday Cheapskate, and Rachel Held Evans, author of A Year of Biblical Womanhood. Both of these women posted great articles today, so I”m sharing the links with you here. They offer you some great options for getting through the next few weeks without breaking the bank, while making a difference in the lives of others.

Here is Rachel’s, and here is Mary’s. Read and enjoy! And please don’t feel guilty about taking advantage of great savings today on things you really want or need. Just remember that Jesus doesn’t really care how much you pay or how trendy your gift is. All Jesus wants for Christmas is you.

Good Grief

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Within the past 48 hours, tragic death has touched three members of my far-extended family. These weren’t people I know, for my relationship to them is very tangential – a cousin-in-law’s step-daughter’s cousin, for example – but their deaths on or near Thanksgiving Day are stark reminders that life itself is something to be cherished, something for which to thank God.

Death doesn’t ever wait for a convenient time, and the number of tragedies connected to holiday celebrations seems to climb each year. Or maybe I just notice them more as I grow older. But this connection between joy and sorrow is nothing new. The Psalmist often combined lament and sorrow with praise and thanksgiving. The paradoxical connection between expressing personal pain and giving glory to God in all circumstances weaves its way throughout the biblical narrative. Grief and rejoicing are not such strange bedfellows. This is why a New Orleans funeral dirge turns into an amazingly joyful Dixieland dance when the saints go marching in.

As your holiday weekend draws to a close, as the shopping spree ends and the turkey leftovers move into smaller containers in the refrigerator, please take a moment to look around the room at those who share your day-in, day-out routines, and thank God for them. Show them how much you love them. Show them how much God loves them. Take nothing for granted. Life is precious. Thanks be to God.

Escaped!

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I have successfully managed to stay in the house all day today. No Black Friday shopping for me, thank you, not even online. Watched some football, some old movies, played some Solitaire, ate some leftover turkey … it’s been a great day so far. I have escaped the madness of Consumerism for one whole day. Or have I?

The truth is that there wasn’t really ever any chance I would go out on Black Friday to see how many bargains I could find. I am not really into shopping for shopping’s sake. So it might be an overstatement to say that I have escaped from a trap that wasn’t set for me in the first place.
No, the trap set for me is this: worrying about stuff instead of seeking God’s Kingdom. And avoiding the worry by watching football, playing Solitaire, or eating turkey doesn’t help me at all. I haven’t really escaped anything, have I? Unless I’m ready to actively seek the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, I am no better off than the guy who pulled a gun on another shopper or the two women who had a fist fight in the comforter aisle at Walmart earlier today.

One trap or another, it really doesn’t matter. Which trap has your name written on it? How are you avoiding the Kingdom of God?

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:28-34, ESV)

Thirty years ago today …

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… we rode in the back seat of a huge old car, to an empty church. My husband’s brother and his wife stood beside us as we exchanged vows on a Saturday morning. There was no music, there were no flowers. The pastor’s wife sat in the back pew and knitted, and my four-year-old son played with a bottle cap he’d picked up from the street. After the ceremony, we ate quiche. I had learned from my mother to roll out the unused piecrust dough, smear it with butter and sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar, and bake it with the pie, so that was our “wedding cake.”

That was thirty years ago, and I have learned a lot from walking beside this amazing man through three decades. For instance,

  1. It really is better to bite your tongue than to give your partner a tongue-lashing (even when I deserve one)
  2. The marriage comes first. Kids grow up and move away, but we promised to be together until death parts us. Invest in that.
  3. Give up the fantasies. There is no such thing as a perfect spouse. I can’t be one, and I’m not married to one. What we have may not always be pretty, but it’s real, and it’s ours.
  4. Decide that this is what you want, and do everything in your power to keep it strong. This decision is closely connected to giving up the fantasy that there is such a thing as a perfect mate. The day I decided to want what I have was the day I knew this marriage would last.
  5. Look for the good stuff. This person by my side has so many amazing qualities. He has integrity. He’s patient. He is utterly dependable. He’s curious. He likes my cooking. He reads. He listens. He is as determined as I am to keep growing. I could go on and on. The truth is, every person on earth has some good in us somewhere. A spouse is the one who keeps reminding us of the good in us, and the one whose goodness we need to keep bringing to light.
  6. Keep the bad stuff in perspective. Yes, he snores, but it’s good to know he’s still breathing in the middle of the night. I find his snoring rather comforting, actually. There was something else… hmm, I can’t think of it right now. (Get my point?)
  7. Make the big decisions together, but trust each other for the small stuff.
  8. Make a budget. Keep it.
  9. One bookkeeper in the house is plenty, but that person needs to know all the data. Don’t hide expenditures from each other, and don’t hide income from each other.
  10. Be honest. Your spouse is not your confessor, but your spouse deserves the truth from you, even when it’s bad news.
  11. If you have children, always be united in your approach to raising them. Do not ever let your children play you against each other. (See number two, above.)
  12. Whoever cooks doesn’t have to do the dishes. Whoever doesn’t cook cleans up the mess.
  13. Someone has to fold the stupid socks. Someone has to clean the stupid toilet. Someone has to take out the trash. Someone has to mow the lawn. Someone has to change the toilet paper roll. Someone has to unload the dishwasher. Someone has to buy groceries. It doesn’t really matter who does it, but it has to get done …
  14.    … Do not keep score.
  15. Find a way to talk through your disagreements. If you are too angry to talk reasonably, go for a walk to get yourself reasonable, then talk.
  16. Listen, listen, listen. With your heart as much as your ears and brain.
  17. Remember that you promised to uphold this person no matter what, so uphold this person no matter what.
  18. Pray for your spouse every day. Give thanks to God for the person who shares your life.
  19. Do something spontaneous every once in a while, just to prove to yourselves that you still can.
  20. Be dependable.
  21. Your spouse is not a mind-reader; ask for what you need. Be specific.
  22. Read aloud to each other.
  23. Spend time together doing nothing, saying nothing. Just be together.
  24. Take turns being the leader, the bread-winner, the main parent.
  25. Discover anew the person who first attracted you all those years ago.
  26. Hold each other every day.
  27. Say, “I love you” every day.
  28. Laugh together every day.
  29. Pray together every day.
  30. Love one another.